R U Treated Badly?

Your Questions Answered

I am being abused by my partner what can I do?

 

No one deserves to be abused.  Help and support is available. If you think you are being abused it is important to talk to someone you trust. For example, you could talk to a parent or guardian, a teacher, a relative or friend.

There are also organisations you can talk to:

If you’re under 18, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

If you are 18 or over call the Staffordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0870 2700 123

 

 

What is relationship abuse?

Abuse in relationships can come in many different forms and controlling behaviour and emotional abuse can be as distressing as physical violence.

Relationship abuse can be:

Emotional:

constantly putting a person down

constantly checking where someone is

stopping someone from seeing their friends or family

Physical:

hitting, pushing, kicking, pinching

throwing or smashing things

making threats to hurt someone

Sexual:

making someone do sexual acts that they don't want to do

rape

Financial:

controlling what someone spends money on

stopping them from working

taking all their money from them

 

Does relationship abuse only happen between boyfriends and girlfriends?

Relationship abuse (which is sometimes called domestic abuse or domestic violence) happens when one person hurts or bullies another person who is or was their partner or who is in the same family. It can happen between people who are going out together, living together, have children together or are married to each other. It can happen either when people live together or separately. Relationship abuse can also happen after a relationship has finished.

Relationship abuse can happen to anyone regardless of age, race, gender, sexuality, disability, wealth and lifestyle.

 

 

My partner checks my text messages all the time – is this abuse?

Reading somebody else’s text messages, without their permission, is violating their privacy and in a healthy relationship partners need to trust each other. Checking someone else’s phone or emails can be a way of controlling them and could be a sign of an abusive relationship.

 

 

My partner says everyone else is having sex all the time – but I don’t feel ready, what should I do?

You should never feel forced or pressured into sexual contact with someone (and that includes kissing, cuddling and touching, as well as sex). It’s always OK to say no if you don’t want to do something. Forcing or pressuring someone into unwanted sexual contact and threatening them or making them feel guilty if they don’t want sexual contact is abuse.

If you are worried and you are feeling pressured into having sex / sexual contact, there are organisations you can talk to:

If you’re under 18, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

If you are 18 or over call the Staffordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0870 2700 123

 

 

What should I do if my girlfriend’s the one being violent?

Violence is wrong – regardless of whether the person being violent is male or female.  Help and support is available. If you are experiencing violence or abuse it is important to talk to someone you trust. For example, you could talk to a parent or guardian, a teacher, a relative or friend.

There are also organisations you can talk to:

If you’re under 18, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

If you are 18 or over call the Staffordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0870 2700 123

 

 

My partner and I do sexting – is that abuse?

Sending intimate photographs or messages by text is not a good idea and can have long term consequences. Remember, texts and images can be used against you at a later date. If you feel pressured to get involved in sexting, or are made to feel guilty if you don’t, this could be a sign of an abusive relationship.

There’s some useful information about sexting on the Think U Know website:

http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/14_plus/need-advice/selfies-and-sexting

 

 

My partner is sometimes violent to me, but always says sorry – so that’s okay isn’t it?

It is never OK for someone to use violence against their boyfriend or girlfriend, or to make their partner scared of them. Physical violence (which can include grabbing, hitting, pushing, kicking etc) is abusive behaviour and is not a normal part of a healthy relationship.

 

How do I end a violent or abusive relationship?

It can be very hard to end a violent or abusive relationship and it is important to make sure that you are safe. It is important for your safety that you tell someone you trust about your plans to end the relationship. If you are considering ending a violent or abusive relationship help, advice and support is available:

If you’re under 18, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

If you are 18 or over call the Staffordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0870 2700 123

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