R U Treated Badly? SPOT THE SIGNS


Abuse in a relationship can happen to anyone.  It's never ok and it can destroy your self-confidence, have a negative impact on your health and wellbeing, for example making you feel anxious, isolated and lonely.

Our quick and easy guide will help you to spot the signs of relationship abuse and find out what you can do about it to make it stop.

What Is Relationship Abuse?

Most people recognise violent abuse, but abusive behaviour in a relationship can be:

Physical (hitting, kicking, slapping, getting in your face)

Emotional (humiliating you and putting you down. Embarrassing you in public, not respecting your feelings, giving you no privacy, making you feel that you have to justify yourself )

Sexual (forcing you to do sexual acts you don’t want to, sexting, forcing you to take intimate pictures )

Financial (controlling what you spend your money on, stopping you from working, taking all your money)

Controlling (feeling or being controlled, either by what a partner says or does)

Abusive relationships can happen to anyone (including those in same-sex relationships). It may start with verbal or emotional abuse, but can often escalate into more controlling behaviour.

You might be lighter in the wallet as you realise that your boyfriend / girlfriend are controlling the way that you spend your money. Some people are physically threatened, or may even be hit by their partner.

What Are The Signs?

A partner may try to pressure you into having sex. (For example by saying "if you loved me you would")

They may call you names or threaten to spread rumours about you

They might try to control you by checking your phone and texts

They may hit you or threaten to hit you

They might get angry when you want to spend time with your friends or family, or they might be jealous or aggressive

They might want you to change how you dress, who you hang out with and what you say

You feel  anxious or on edge when you’re with your partner, and feel that you might say something that makes them angry

You feel like you don’t want to spend time with friends or family

Some other warning signs of potential abusive behaviour are:

Threatening to harm you or self-harm if you leave them

Demanding to know where you are all the time

Excessive alcohol drinking and drug use

Blaming others or you for his / her problems or feelings

Pressuring you to send sexual texts and images of yourself

Someone sharing any sexual text and images of you with their mates

Need help or confidential advice and support - or just someone to talk to? Well help is here if you need it

If you’re under 18, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

If you are 18 or over you can call the Staffordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0870 2700 123

You can get further support from any of the organisations listed in our Further Help And Advice Section

DON’T FORGET: If you are in immediate danger, always ring 999

More timelines coming soon