R U Treated Badly? BE IN THE KNOW


It can be really worrying when someone you care about is being hurt or abused by their partner. Your response could make a difference.

The more supported your friend feels the easier it could be for them to deal with what is happening.

It is fantastic that you are there to support your friend, but it’s also a good idea to encourage them to contact an organisation for help and support. See the Help is Here section

It is hard to understand what it is like when you are not in that situation so probably the most important thing you can do is listen, don’t be critical and don’t pressure them to do something they are not ready to do.

Just because it not happening to you directly does not mean that you can’t seek support for yourself on what to do, see the need help section


Relationships are hard to understand sometimes, but it's important to know the facts.  For example abuse in relationships isn’t always physical, it can come in many different forms, but it's mainly when someone tries to control, intimidate or hurt their partner.

Using violence and intimidation to control your partner is never ok. It’s abusive and there are no excuses.

You may not even realise you've done it, but if you recognise the signs now you can stop yourself turning into someone you don't want to be.

Abuse can harm the futures of both people in the relationship.

The worrying thing is that emotional, financial or controlling behaviour is accepted by a lot of young people as being ok in certain situations.  Make sure you recognise it and stop it.

Typical Examples of Abuse Include

Telling your girlfriend / boyfriend how to spend their money

Humiliating your girlfriend / boyfriend in front of their friends

Not speaking to your girlfriend / boyfriend when you’re with your friends, or putting them down

Pressuring someone into having sex (for example saying "if you loved me you would"

Pressuring someone into Sexting

Trying to control your girlfriend / boyfriend by checking their texts and voicemails

Getting angry or jealous when they want to spend time with their friends

Using threatening language or hurtful names

Hitting your  girlfriend / boyfriend

Do any of the above examples apply to you in any way?

Do you want to stop yourself?

Call the RESPECT helpline on 0808 802 4040

You can also access even moret help and advice here.

Need help or confidential advice and support - or just someone to talk to? Well help is here if you need it

If you’re under 18,

What is rape?

Rape is when a man forces his penis into the vagina, anus or mouth of another person when that person doesn't want him to do so; the law calls this 'without consent'.

What the Law Says

The most important bit to remember is that being pressured or forced to have sex when you don't want to is a crime.

What is Sexual Assault

Sexual Assault is a crime that can be committed by both men and women against men or women. Different types of sexual assault include:

Objects or parts of the body (e.g. a finger) being put into someone's vagina or anus when that person didn't want it to happen.

Someone being touched in a sexual way that makes him or her feel uncomfortable or frightened. This could be through their clothes (like bottom pinching).

Someone being made to sexually stimulate themselves using their hands or fingers (known as masturbation).

Any other form of physical closeness that happens without consent is known as sexual assault. It can also include; watching other people having sex, 'sexting' (texting sexual images), and forcing involvement in watching or making pornography.

More timelines coming soon

Need help or confidential advice and support - or just someone to talk to? Well help is here if you need it

If you’re under 18, you can call ChildLine on 0800 1111 to talk in confidence about any problem. No problem is too big or small for them. Alternatively, you can go to www.childline.org.uk where you can contact them by email and text, chat to a counsellor online or post to the message boards.

If you are 18 or over you can call the Staffordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0870 2700 123

You can get further support from any of the organisations listed in our Further Help And Advice Section

DON’T FORGET: If you are in immediate danger, always ring 999